Mommy-at-Home

Mark Kristoff's Birth Story

2011-12-18T18:20:00.000-08:00

My son's birth story is something that I should have written months ago - at least just a month after his birth - but I did not have the courage to do so. The reason is that, I was afraid to tell the world or to admit to myself that Hypnobabies was not effective for me. For others who are not familiar with Hypnobabies, it is the use of hypnosis to attain analgesia or absence of pain during normal birthing. You can visit their site provided in my list of links at the left side of the page. During the whole time of my pregnancy, I really found comfort listening to my Hypnobabies tracks shared to me by another hypnomom (a great thanks to her!) and was inspired that I would have a normal delivery because I believed through HB's help that my body is designed to give birth in such a way and that it would be a pleasant experience for me and my baby. Unfortunately, that did not happen in my case but I'm glad that after some time, I've learned to accept things. Some things are not really meant for us no matter how badly we desire them. So, here it is, after more than eight months, I now find myself writing about my son and I's birthing experience.

The expected arrival of Kristoff was March 28 and so a month before that, my mom and I decided to go to Bacolod City (a 6-hour bus travel from our town) in order to get prepared for my birthing. Bacolod City has a number of good hospitals which we knew can take good care of us during the birthing process. I wanted to have excellent care but I was also reluctant to spend much (heheheheh, I have to admit). So with the help of my sister and her barkadas, I scouted for a cheaper Obstetrician and hospital. Luckily, I found one good OB and chose Bacolod Adventist Medical Center (BAMC) as the hospital where I'd give birth.

At this time, Mark was still not in the Philippines. It was so lonesome for me, as what any woman in this situation would feel. But I needed to show strength for my family, for him and for our soon-to-be born son.

March 14
I had my first check-up with the new OB. She assessed my fundal height and said that it was still high but she decided to perform an IE (internal examination) on the next visit, a week after. I was so excited to think that at last, I was so near to giving birth and undergo procedures such as an IE just like any expectant mother would.

March 21
I prepared a lot for this day. I walked morning and afternoon to facilitate my baby's descent. I listened to my HB tracks focusing especially to the instructions on how to do during an IE. The OB told me that my cervix is still not open and gave me primrose oil capsule to take daily to soften my cervix. She mentioned that I was a good candidate for a CS (caesarean section). This made me sad because I was trying my best to have a normal spontaneous delivery. For emergency purposes, she gave me a copy of my admission orders in case I would start to labor.

March 28
This is the due date of my son's delivery based on Naegele's Rule but according to the ultrasound taken a month ago, it should have been on the 26th. I asked for the advice of another hypnomom and she told me to wait for some time before deciding on any procedure such as artificial induction. However, I was too impatient at that time and fear that I would be jeopardizing both our lives if I delay my decision.

March 29
8:00 A.M
We went to BAMC for admission. I was feeling cool and by this time, I have already internalized that I was going to undergo procedures that might be painful for me. In the emergency room, I was asked about my personal information and health history. A resident obstetrician did an IE again, still my cervix is not open. Too bad, primrose oil and walking were not effective. Soon after that, the nurse-trainees inserted an intravenous line on my left hand. This was my first time to have an IV line but I was ready for this. I was also given a dose of IV Buscopan to facilitate cervical dilatation.

9:30 AM
After my sister processed the papers in the admission department, I was wheeled to the Labor Room. I had nasal congestion because of the cold temperature inside. I felt really uncomfortable. They conducted a non-stress test and the result was fine for me and my baby. A non-stress test or NST is a painless procedure done to monitor the baby's condition while he is at rest and while he is moving.

10:00 AM
Oxytocin induction was started. Actually, oxytocin is a hormone naturally produced by our body to stimulate contraction during labor. In my case, since my birthing process had not started yet, and I was too alarmed that my baby's overdue, I opted for an artificial labor induction. They incorporated oxytocin into my IV.

At the labor room.

12:00 Noon
To my dismay, I did not feel any progress in contraction or pain in my abdomen. I kept patient though and waited for that signal pain. My baby's fetal heart rate is monitored every 2 hours.

This is the Doppler instrument used to monitor my baby's fetal heart rate.

1:00 PM
I felt the first sensation of pain. I was so glad that I felt this and started to relax myself using the Hypnobabies technique. I focused on the sensation as pressure rather than pain. I don't know if its really true of if it was just me that I felt the pressure were becoming more intense and regular. It made me happy somehow. Meanwhile, my husband, who was on sail to Brazil at that time was monitoring me through SMS, asking me about our son and I's status.

3:00 PM
The resident obstetrician performed an IE again. I was somehow disappointed to know that my cervix was only 1 centimeter open even though I kept on telling myself to be patient and wait for the right time.

Evening
Student-nurses came and I was glad to have company. I was the only patient in the Loabor Room at this time. Although I look irritable, I was still thankful to have them and reflected back at the time when I was still a student-nurse myself. So this must be the feeling of my patients before when I constantly monitor them, I thought to myself.

12:00 Midnight
My IV with oxytocin was stopped so that I could have a good rest. The student-nurses ended their duty and blessed me and my son with a prayer. I was thankful.

March 30

Oxytocin induction was restarted at 6 AM. I was so excited again for this might be the day when I get to hold my son in my arms. Another IE was performed at 12 noon and we'd known that I was 3 centimeters dilated. It was way too slow for my cervix to open although I have some regular but mild contractions. When I peed, there were some bloody mucous coming out too. I was not afraid to see them but I embraced this event as something very normal for me. What I was afraid of was to have a CS.

It's 9 in the evening and active labor has not yet started, so, a non-stress test was performed again and the result was not good. My baby had some late decelerations which mean there's some problem now with his heart rate when my uterus contracts. They immediately recommended to have an immediate CS since my baby is now distressed. I said yes and they also informed my family who were there - mom, mother-in-law and my sister, Ai-ai.

My mom and mother-in-law visited me and I saw their concern but I dismissed it. I tried to show them that I was strong enough to handle this. I never knew deep inside me was a very worried me. Well, perhaps because I witnessed some operations before, including CS, when I was a student-nurse. I did have so many deep-seated apprehensions at that time including the fact that I had a nasal congestion that worsened every time I lay flat. And I knew that I was going to lay flat during the whole time of operation! It made me anxious to realize that I'd be under spinal anesthesia and sedation and that I couldn't breathe through my nose because of congestion, so how could I survive? I was overreacting and my anxiety was overwhelming.

As they put me on the stretcher and wheeled me to the Operating Room, panic struck me and I began to sob. I had to see my mom before anything happens to me, I thought. But this was too late. No one would be allowed to enter the OR if they're not part of the surgical team. I requested the anesthesiologist to manage my nasal congestion first and thank GOD she sprayed a medicine to my nose which somehow melted the mucus. A circulating nurse handed me a tissue and I cleared my nose. I got a clean tissue in my hand and hold it tightly during the operation. I was like holding on to it like I was holding on to my life.

They assisted me to be in a fetal position for the spinal anesthesia. First, the anesthesiologist gave me a local anesthetics so I won't feel the pain of the spinal needle. The spinal needle was then inserted in between my 3rd and 4th lumbar spine. I was assisted back to the supine position after that.

My tummy was cleaned with Betadine solution and drapes were placed. A nurse inserted a urinary catheter. The doctor began the operation while I was still troubled about the outcome. Sadly, I lost faith. But God never left me and He used one nurse to hug me and whispered to me words of faith and encouragement. I was enlightened to put now everything to God's hand and trust in His ways.

10:50 PM
My baby's out. Thank God! I heard him cry and the doctor declared my baby's a boy.
Welcome Mark Kristoff Aumentar Gavilano!
After cleaning him, the nurses showed him to me. I was groggy when I saw him and the doctors were still closing my abdomen. The only thing that I said (in whisper) when I saw him was his lips are mine. I kept on saying that and that's really true, he got his lips from me. hehehe
I fell asleep after that. I was sedated but I was aware that I was transferred to the Recovery Room. I think I spent 6 hours there and when my vital signs were stable enough, they transferred me to our room and there I was reunited with my family, who were also anxiously waiting to be with me and to be with the new member of the family.

Asleep with my baby in my arms. So tired and exhausted but thank God everything is fine!

Breast Self-Examination

2011-12-16T06:09:00.000-08:00

The best effective way to detect any sign of breast changes is by doing a breast self-examination. This is helpful to prevent breast cancer, the leading type of cancer affecting women today.

The suggested schedule to perform a breast self-examination is 3 - 5 days after the end of the menstrual day when the breasts are least likely to be tender and swollen. For premenopausal women, BSE can be done at the same time of their period every month and for older postmenopausal women, they can do it in a regular and fixed schedule like every first or last day of the month.

Sometimes, moms like us are too busy and more likely to take this procedure for granted. But we have to remember the cliche that an ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure. Remember, taking care of ourselves is also one way of showing our love to the people dear to us. We take care of ourselves to take care of them, too, and to give more of ourselves to them. So, spare some time to do this. After all, it doesn't take long.^^

Daddy's Boy

2011-12-16T05:37:00.000-08:00

This is the first ever picture-collection-video of my son, Mark Kristoff. I discovered that I was pregnant of him just 3 days prior to my husband's departure for work abroad. So, as you can see, almost all the pictures here has only my son and/or me. He came back to the Philippines when Toptop (my son's nickname) was already a month old. Despite the little time he spent with us, Toptop is still a Daddy's Boy. Every time I had classes, Mark took care of him when he was here. And yes, during that time - I have to admit now - that I was jealous of him because Toptop expressed so much happiness when he's with his dad. Now, my husband's sailing off to the US and we sometimes talk through Skype. I'm so glad that whenever our son sees him through the video call, he still knows his dad and very eager to touch the screen (where his dad's face is).^^

I thank the Lord for giving us such a wonderful son. We're so blessed!

A simple act of kindness boomerang

2011-12-16T02:50:00.001-08:00

I want to share this video shared to me by my Russian student. This somehow made my night. Thanks Slav^^. I'm so touched by the message of this video. Yes, a simple act of kindness can go a long way and the kindness we started can come back to us in an unexpected way. I hope you'll get inspired by this video, too.

My Son Today^^

2011-12-14T22:58:00.000-08:00

My son is 8 months and 15 days old now and he's gone very active. At exactly eight months, he knows how to sit by himself without support. I can see that he also attempts to stand up by holding onto something stable. I'm so glad that he's near to stand up by himself and start cruising. See how time flies so fast! How I wish I can put more pictures of him here. ;)

What is Charity?

2011-12-14T21:38:00.000-08:00

This clip was taken from the last part of the book I was using with Ms. Jinny. This really struck me for I am guilty of not doing these simple acts of charity.So what really is charity? Let me just echo what the lesson gives.Silence when your words would hurt. Yes, sometimes we are so blinded by our own hurts that we fail to remember the feelings of others, too. Self-expression is important but at least we have to do it with tact.
Patience when your neighbor is curt. Well, we can never avoid people who can hurt us with their uncaring words or manners but we can choose how to react to them. Patience is still a virtue.Deafness when scandal flows. At some point in our lives, we may do something that are not too pleasant for others' to see. If that happens to us, then we have to know how to correct our mistakes and move on. If you keep on entertaining people who are fond of talking about your downfall, you can never get back your life. Thoughtfulness for others' woes. One of the reasons we're alive is to be a comfort for our fellows. We may not have the material things to give but we can always give our time to someone who needs the loving comfort of our presence.Promptness when duty calls. Helping others in need at the time they need help. :)Courage when misfortune falls. The world rotates and life is a wheel. Sometimes you're up and at times you're down. Misfortune can happen to anyone. What's important is to have the courage and faith to take the challenge and change the situation. Don't let a bad thing control you down. Conquer it, instead.Woohhh! Nice lesson to ponder. I've got some attitude-changing practice to do.

My Kid-Students

2011-12-14T17:50:00.000-08:00

Working from home is a privilege that I enjoy right now. It gives me the chance to earn while still having ample time with my son who is 8 months old now. It has also helped me gain a network of friends in the online community. I've got the chance to meet people from other countries and learn from them new ideas and experiences as well as their culture.

I have students from South Korea, China, Russia and Madison in which five are adults and four are kids.

These are my kids in class. I love teaching and honing young minds.^^

A Lesson on Wednesday

2011-12-13T17:34:00.000-08:00

My class with my morning student has often been a learning class for me, too. Ms. Jinny is a mom of one son and a wife for 10 years. As a new mom and wife, I have this chance to learn from her shared experiences and ideas during our class. We often have discussions about life issues such as happiness, friendship and love. This is a good give-and-take example - I help her express herself in English while I'm gaining some insights about life and about being a mommy and a wife.

This morning we had a 30-minute class and we discussed about marriage and divorce.

South Korean culture practices the wedding ceremony in a wedding house and often officiated by a respectable person in their community such as a professor or a high ranking government official. The bride wears a white wedding gown and the groom presents in a tuxedo. After the ceremony, they change into their traditional wedding clothes. This made me curious because I only witnessed one Korean wedding (in Princess Hours, a Korean drama) and the bride wore a heavy headdress and traditional gown. But Ms. Jinny clarified that modern Korean designers have made traditional dresses more comfortable and easy to wear, so they're not heavy to put on now. The marrying age for Korean people has increased because women nowadays are more educated and career-oriented.

As you can see, the difference between Korean and Philippine culture with regards to wedding ceremony is that we need a licensed person to do the wedding rites like a pastor, priest, mayor or judge. We often have the white wedding gown for the bride and tuxedo or Barong Tagalog for the groom. This is much of a Western influence. Commonly, we don't have traditional clothes to change into. Our ethnic tribes, however, have. Marrying age for Filipinos has also increased.

With regard to divorce, we sighted some reasons why couples decide to separate. One main reason is perhaps the compatibility issue and the second is the financial problem.

We have shared opinions about resolutions in case such problems arise in the couple's life. I think I have to make another post for that.

My class with her has always been worthwhile. Thanks Ms. Jinny!^^

My First Post

2011-12-10T05:20:00.000-08:00

Hello there, I'm simply happy to have created my first blog with a presentable look. It has been my desire to have one like this, though I still have to make necessary improvements here in the near future. I just simply hope that I can find more helpful ideas on the net to help me here. Anyway, the main reason I made this blog is to have an avenue to express myself as a work-at-home mom. I'm also learning how to communicate effectively through writing. So, this might as well be handy for me.